Ever found yourself solving everyone’s problems, carrying the weight of your team’s challenges, and wondering why you’re constantly overwhelmed? If so, you might be falling into the trap of taking on monkeys that don’t belong to you.

The phrase "Not my monkey, not my circus" comes from a Polish proverb, and it’s a powerful reminder that not every issue is yours to solve. In leadership, coaching, and even personal life, learning to recognise what truly belongs to you—and what doesn’t—is essential for productivity, sanity, and growth.

Are You Carrying Someone Else’s Monkey?

In business, a monkey represents a task, problem, or responsibility. When a team member comes to you with an issue, do you:

Immediately take it on and promise to fix it?

Offer solutions before they’ve even had a chance to think it through?

Leave the conversation with more work than you started with?

If you said yes to any of these, congratulations—you’ve just inherited someone else’s monkey.

The Hidden Cost of Monkey-Stealing

Taking on problems that don’t belong to you creates a ripple effect:
✅ Burnout – You become overloaded with tasks that aren’t actually yours.
✅ Disempowerment – Your team doesn’t develop problem-solving skills because they rely on you.
✅ Bottlenecking – Everything slows down because decisions and actions always require your input.

As a leader, coach, or professional, your role isn’t to carry everyone’s monkeys—it’s to empower others to manage their own.

How to Stop Adopting Monkeys

1. Recognise the Monkey Transfer

The moment someone brings a problem to you, pause. Before you instinctively say, “I’ll handle it,” ask:

Is this truly my responsibility?

Who should own this problem?

How can I support without taking ownership?

2. Shift from Problem-Solver to Coach

Instead of giving immediate solutions, ask:

What have you tried so far?

What do you think would work?

What support do you need from me to move forward?

This encourages accountability and critical thinking, rather than dependency.

3. Set Clear Boundaries

Being a great leader or colleague doesn’t mean taking on everything. It means setting expectations and enabling others to handle their responsibilities. A simple response like:

"I trust you to handle this. Let me know if you need guidance, but I know you’ve got this."

...keeps the monkey where it belongs.

4. Encourage an Ownership Culture

Create a culture where people feel confident in solving problems without always escalating them. Foster a mindset of:
✅ “How can I solve this?” rather than “Who will fix this for me?”
✅ “What’s my role in this?” instead of “Who can I pass this to?”

A Practical Guide: "The One Minute Manager Meets the Monkey"

If this concept resonates with you, a must-read is "The One Minute Manager Meets the Monkey" by Ken Blanchard, William Oncken Jr., and Hal Burrows. The book explores how managers often take on their team’s responsibilities unnecessarily and provides practical techniques for effective delegation, empowering employees rather than burdening themselves. It reinforces the idea that leaders should not take on problems that others should be solving.

Final Thought: You Can Care Without Carrying

Effective leadership isn’t about taking on every burden; it’s about equipping others to handle their own. By embracing the Not My Monkey philosophy, you create a culture of ownership, resilience, and efficiency—where problems are solved at the right level, by the right people.

Next time a monkey comes your way, pause and ask: “Is this mine to carry?” If not, hand it back with confidence. Your sanity (and your team) will thank you.